` Birthday? Shit it. `
I thought this was going to be a happy post yesterday, but obviously now it isnt. Today is one of the most sucky day i had. Am i having my birthday? No.
I shouldnt have been so kind. As I was worried that my boss couldnt handle by himself as there will be more customers on Saturday, i offered to help him in the morning till 1pm. I was in a cheery mood to work, as it was my birthday and i was going to celebrate it soon. My mood was totally destroyed when i heard that my boss went home - in pasir ris, at 1pm, and yet to return at 3pm. I was really pissed. My mother was supposed to take over me after i left but she didnt know how to operate the computer so i stayed for a while to guide her. Who knows, she asked me sweetly to stay with her. Being nice, i agreed to stay with her since she still had some problems remembering the codes which i took so many days to remember. However, she actually said that she's going home an hour later as i was there and there was no need for her to stay and take over me. What? Excuse me, i stayed because she asked me to accompany her, not to do the work which was supposedly hers. She sounded as though staying there and do work was what i was supposed to do and that was my responsibility, and she could go home already. Hey, I was the one to go home, not her. I took leave and everyone agreed on it. What happened?? I felt so much being used by her, even though she stayed and went home with me at night in the end. I felt so angry and disappointed with that thought of hers. Anyway, taking leave today was one of my condition in accepting the job. And it turned out not only im not able to take leave today, but also had a foul mood the whole day. If only i just heck care and leave in the afternoon, then i wont be feeling so bad now. Im just too stupid.
Birthday? Yeah.. it was just another day. That was what my mum told me today. So now what's the use of cutting cake after i got home at 10pm and had only two pathetic hours of so-called birthday? What's the use of singing birthday song to me when you feel that it was just another normal day? Maybe you guys dont understand why am i feeling so pissed.. but if you are the one hearing those things out from your mother's mouth, you will be feeling pissed too. Maybe im sad more to pissed. I dunno... but i really hate it when she said she's going home. I was really there just to accompany and help her. Nothing else. After that she told me at the workplace before going home that she's turning mad soon... i was thinking, who's turning mad first? I was already freaking crazy in the afternoon. She should stop saying as though she sacrificed alot by staying over waiting for me to be dismissed. Right. Fine.
Im not going to care so much now. She said she told the boss im changing my leave day to Tuesday. Im not going to be so stupidly kind to worry that he will not be able to handle on his own nor im going to be so silly to offer to work in the morning. Who cared whether im able to handle all the customers alone? No one. I was nearly alone the whole day for the past two weeks. So why must i care about others so much? I learnt something, dont, dont be too kind. Sure, at least i learnt something on my birthday.
Huilin, sorry to break the promise to find you at HK Point. I will go on Tuesday. Claire, sorry to spoil all the plans we had made last night. Make up to you another day. And finally, thanks to all the sms-es and best wishes. I really appreciate that. ^_^
leaving...
-1/29/2005 11:15:00 PM-
