` Birthday? Shit it. `
I thought this was going to be a happy post yesterday, but obviously now it isnt. Today is one of the most sucky day i had. Am i having my birthday? No.
I shouldnt have been so kind. As I was worried that my boss couldnt handle by himself as there will be more customers on Saturday, i offered to help him in the morning till 1pm. I was in a cheery mood to work, as it was my birthday and i was going to celebrate it soon. My mood was totally destroyed when i heard that my boss went home - in pasir ris, at 1pm, and yet to return at 3pm. I was really pissed. My mother was supposed to take over me after i left but she didnt know how to operate the computer so i stayed for a while to guide her. Who knows, she asked me sweetly to stay with her. Being nice, i agreed to stay with her since she still had some problems remembering the codes which i took so many days to remember. However, she actually said that she's going home an hour later as i was there and there was no need for her to stay and take over me. What? Excuse me, i stayed because she asked me to accompany her, not to do the work which was supposedly hers. She sounded as though staying there and do work was what i was supposed to do and that was my responsibility, and she could go home already. Hey, I was the one to go home, not her. I took leave and everyone agreed on it. What happened?? I felt so much being used by her, even though she stayed and went home with me at night in the end. I felt so angry and disappointed with that thought of hers. Anyway, taking leave today was one of my condition in accepting the job. And it turned out not only im not able to take leave today, but also had a foul mood the whole day. If only i just heck care and leave in the afternoon, then i wont be feeling so bad now. Im just too stupid.
Birthday? Yeah.. it was just another day. That was what my mum told me today. So now what's the use of cutting cake after i got home at 10pm and had only two pathetic hours of so-called birthday? What's the use of singing birthday song to me when you feel that it was just another normal day? Maybe you guys dont understand why am i feeling so pissed.. but if you are the one hearing those things out from your mother's mouth, you will be feeling pissed too. Maybe im sad more to pissed. I dunno... but i really hate it when she said she's going home. I was really there just to accompany and help her. Nothing else. After that she told me at the workplace before going home that she's turning mad soon... i was thinking, who's turning mad first? I was already freaking crazy in the afternoon. She should stop saying as though she sacrificed alot by staying over waiting for me to be dismissed. Right. Fine.
Im not going to care so much now. She said she told the boss im changing my leave day to Tuesday. Im not going to be so stupidly kind to worry that he will not be able to handle on his own nor im going to be so silly to offer to work in the morning. Who cared whether im able to handle all the customers alone? No one. I was nearly alone the whole day for the past two weeks. So why must i care about others so much? I learnt something, dont, dont be too kind. Sure, at least i learnt something on my birthday.
Huilin, sorry to break the promise to find you at HK Point. I will go on Tuesday. Claire, sorry to spoil all the plans we had made last night. Make up to you another day. And finally, thanks to all the sms-es and best wishes. I really appreciate that. ^_^
leaving...
-1/29/2005 11:15:00 PM-
` Happy birthday to me! `
"Happy Birthday to me.. happy birthday to me!" Hahaz~ mad le.. anyway, just 33 mins of my birthday and i've got a couple of people to thank!!
--> Dad - for the birthday cake.
--> Mum - for the Ge Dou OST!
--> Sis - for the denim skirt, flowers and birthday card.
--> Wei Sheng - for coming over to my mailbox to deliver the card and present to me. (psst.. im really so shocked and surprised to receive your presents! thanks!)
--> Huilin, Xueni, Lionel - for calling over to my hp wishing me happy birthday.
--> Pam - for remembering my birthday =D
Shall continue tomorrow.. heez~ thanks everyone!
leaving...
-1/29/2005 01:33:00 AM-
` Abt work again... `
Had been too lazy and tired to blog these few days. Work is actually okay, just that i hate reaching home so late everyday. It's like, i dont even remember seeing daylight! Hahaz~ just around 12 days more, and i will get my life back once again. Heez~ =)
Anyway, nothing special happened these days. Besides work, it is still work. Hmm... just that i finally got my Ge Dou OST on Monday (psst.. thanks sis!) and feeling sick now. Had a blocked nose two days ago which lead to me losing my voice. Now i had difficulty in telling the customers the prices of the things im selling. Haiz... hope i recover soon. It felt really bad being in an air-conditioned place when you are not feeling well. =( Im so sick of work now too actually. After this job, i really want to rest for a few weeks. I didnt really rest at all after quitting the childcare job! Im lazy yeah... i really wanna rest. Hahaz~
Sleep sleep sleeping time! Whee~~~ ^oo^
leaving...
-1/27/2005 01:07:00 AM-
` `
Keke~ im kind of mad now. Putting two songs in my blog. Remember to listen to them!! I will try to change regularly.. now helping 56 to promote their new OST. Heehee~ all songs rawks!!!
leaving...
-1/23/2005 01:37:00 AM-
` `
Work was okay... just that it was kind of tiring. I was really blur at work, and i wonder why too. My mind seemed to go blank and dead whenever i stepped into Thomson Plaza. I felt that i did things too slowly, especially when i was pricing and tidying up the stocks. Opps... I didnt mean to do it slow.. i also dunno why la. Heez~ anywayz, I couldnt find the exit when i was going home today. ><;;; And... i even got off at the wrong bus-stop. Haix... cant stand myself being so 'direction freak'. xP
Gosh.. im so hungry now. I had just eaten two breads for the whole day. The food there was way too expensive so i was thinking now is the best time to start dieting. Hahahaz~
Anyway, the society is really full of different people. Just the third day of work and i already managed to see quite a couple of them. Some who seem to be rich, are stingy. Some have to check this check that, think for a long long time and asking alot of questions before buying the things from you. Some will immediately give you a black face when they felt that the things are way too expensive. Hahahaz~ sometimes it was kind of amusing. xD
I hope CNY will be here soon. Then work will end. Kekeke~ i totally have no determination. Bleh.... x.x
leaving...
-1/21/2005 11:55:00 PM-
` First day of work `
Bleh... so tired now. Lazy to update in detail. Anywayz... work hasnt really started. I only priced the things im selling today, and did nothing much in the morning. x.x The environment im working in seems to be kinda nice. Afterall it is in a shopping centre. Hahaz~ hopefully i can last till the end. xD
After watching Ge Dou Tian Wang, im so obsessed with Renfu again. My obsession for him calmed down a little last month, and it's back again! He's really so shuai in there. And he looks so swwweeett in that show. Last Saturday's Wan Quan Happy showed a 15 minutes clip on Ge Dou, and the more i watched it, the more im obsessed with him. Kekeke~ im mad.. lalaz~
Eeks.. im so lazy now, even to play Subeta. =X Dont want to blog liao... =P
leaving...
-1/19/2005 11:33:00 PM-
` Rare happy mood `
Whee~ so happy.. bought quite alot of stuffs these two days. Went to JP with my sis yesterday, and i bought a sweater, a denim skirt and two T-shirts. Today, out with mum, and bought a pair of new shoes and yu gou 5566's Ge Dou OST. =D I finally yu gou le.. but this time not in FH or HOS, is at a music shop in JE. The bottle and yu gou dan so nice!! Lalalaz~
Watched the first episode of Ge Dou and Renfu is damn shuai!!! x.x I actually find that his acting has improved. -faintz- Heehee~ I cant wait for the next episode!!! Lalalala~
Nothing to post liaoz... work starting tomorrow. Hopefully it wont be bad. Hahaz~ ^^
leaving...
-1/17/2005 06:43:00 PM-
` Guilt for not going to the class outing `
Im guilt-ridden now.... im in the wrong. I should have think before making the decision. Im so sorry.
leaving...
-1/16/2005 11:00:00 PM-
` Memories `
Finally, finally.. the 4 of us (Jean, Claire, Joyce n me) are out again. It's been ages since we last met. =( We still continued to crap and talk rubbish without feeling uncomfortable. That's the magic between close friends. How i wish this magic will last forever...
We went to Bugis and first thing we did there was to take neoprints. It wasnt really successful as the neoprints didnt look really nice. However, taking neoprints with them brought me back loads of memories. The days when we tried out the new neoprint machines, laughing heartily when we were posing, and got bored when queuing for our turn. Haix... anyway, after that we just walked around abit and went to have our lunch before going back to Bukit Batok. Time seemed to pass really quickly.
Well, the reason for us returning back to Bukit Batok was that Joyce had to go to church. As she's kind of alone in the church, we promised to accompany her there. The place was very different from what i thought, and the auditorium looks like a mini indoor stadium. It's kind of cool, and the people there are very friendly. =) However, i dont really think i fit in there as afterall im not a believer of God. The service was interesting though. And, i love the people there. =D How i wish i can be like them, able to mix with people you dont know well.
We went to JP after having a drink with the cellgroup. As usual, window-shopped for a while before going home. It was already late so we had to go home. I felt sad. I dunno when we will be seeing each other again. I hate separation.
Before heading home, Claire and I walked around the market again. We were talking about our friendship since Pri 3. Hmm.. dun bother to read if you dun wan to know. I just want to remember these...
Pri 3, both of us were prefects. She was so-called the 'bad' prefect, while i was the 'good' prefect. We used to dislike each other. So, we seldom talk. Pri 4, our relationship got better. We started to talk more but we still werent that close. We got really close in Pri 5. I dunno why too, but we just suddenly clicked. We did prefect duties together, and feed the fishes in the ponds. I still remembered the huge catfish in the pond. We would also talk on the phone every morning before going to school, from morning 9am to 11am. She would sometimes come over to my house too and we took the schoolbus together. We were really happy! Pri 6, no more schoolbus. We used to lie to our parents that we had remedials when we were actually playing hop-scotch nearby the school. We had our own one and a half hour big-walk without any water and money. We played the skate scooter by the canal. We sat at the block near her house to relax ourselves. We walked home together everyday and always went into the polyclinic on the way to buy the 40 cents drink. We walked to each teachers' tables asking if they need help nearly everyday. Also, both of us would not want to enter 6/3 class because we would always be teased. ;P We were happy when the both of us got into the same Secondary school. We didnt have to separate from each other.
However, although we our class were only side-by-side in Sec 1, we seldom see or talk to each other. We got drifted away. Sec 2 was a little better but we still werent that close. We got back again in Sec 3, by having to sit beside each other. We were in the same class again, finally. We often play fingers-fight and im always the one who lost. =P We struggled together for Amaths and Physics. We kept failing these two subjects but end up laughing together. Sec 4, we took amaths 'alive or dead' test. We passed it! We were so happy as we didnt have to drop the subject. =) Also, we went to 5566's autograph session (Bishan Junction 8). We jumped happily together and she got really happy as Xiezhi took her tissue. We dropped our pure sciences to combined sciences, and felt less stressed up. We didnt regret dropping at all. =D She was only behind me during O levels, and we always chat with each other to relieve stress before the exams. O levels was then over...
I felt so sad remembering the past. Claire and I nearly cried when we were talking about this just now. We may not be able to be that close ever again. We cannot lose contact eh? Jean and Joyce too!! We must sms or call each other. Haix... i hate thinking the past. I dont even dare to read my past entries. What is happening to me? ><;;;
Now, im hoping that 3 weeks will be over as soon as possible. Yesh.. i accepted the job. I dunno why too... i just knew that i was really mad and disappointed when i was accepting the job. Why must i remind her to worry about my safety? Forget about it...
leaving...
-1/15/2005 10:20:00 PM-
` Job?! `
There's a job for me. It is only for three weeks i think, and i have to work for 7 days/week, from 11am to 9pm. Hahahaz~ should i take it?? Hmm... should consider eh? ><;;
I dont really want to work as once i work, my mother can find the excuse to make me buy everything i want myself. The pay i got from the childcare centre was only $300, and that is only just enough for me to replace the money i spent on buying my handphone. I do not have any more extra money to spend on myself. I dont know why she sounded as though im so rich that i can afford everything myself. Do all mothers react like this? She really made me rather to rot at home than to go work. She made me rather to be poor than to have a little more money. She made me so disappointed with her now. I dont like this feeling.
Anyway, walked around with Claire just now and i really missed the old days. We often walked around the markets after school before going home. If only those days will return.
leaving...
-1/13/2005 06:15:00 PM-
` Job Hunting `
Went for job hunting with Huilin and be honest, i dun feel like working yet. Hahaz~ i have not rested enough actually. But... i had alot of things to buy so i need money. No choice eh? Anywayz, we were being rejected by Swensens as we can only worked for at most 3-4 months and they need people who can work longer. =( Then, we just walked around and quite alot of shops are looking for people who are 18 years and above. Boohoo... the oldest age i can say is 17. Not young, and not old enough. However i think im old le! =X
Saw Chris but i didnt manage to talk to her as i was on the phone. Sorry Chris! >< Then we went to Jurong Point and first stop to NTUC. Heez~ read Huilin's blog to know why we went there eh? Keke~ we continued to walk around and check for places we can work at and rejected by Popular. We need to work longer... but we cant! Too bad. I was thinking of working at TS. Afterall, i really love to work in CD shops. I dunno why.. but i wish to. However, they all seem to want to hire people of age 18 years and above too.. what's wrong with younger age? Humpf!
Im so sick of looking for jobs. Bleh...
Edit: Argh.. i hate blogger. I couldnt post more than once per day or everything in my blog will be bolded. So.. i have to change the date to tomorrow. Eeks.
Double Edit by Sis: I fixed it!! MWAHAHAHA. :P
Triple Edit by me: YYAAAYYY!!!!!!!!!!! (Actually, this is still typed by the person doing the double edit wahahha...)
leaving...
-1/12/2005 06:40:00 PM-
` 3pm-6pm at Childcare Centre `
The kids were hyper active today. They just couldnt stop playing and we had trouble controlling them. It's been just three days since i last seen Nicholas and turned really naughty! He learnt how to beat and push people from another girl and this is very very wrong! Miss Chinwei punished him by beating lightly on the palm, just to remind him that this is wrong, and he cried really pitifully. He kept coming to me to carry him, and once i put him down, he cried again. He only stopped crying when we went downstairs to play. Hahaz~ still, he was adorable.
Anyway, everyone was so shocked to see me today as it was already my last day last friday. ><;; I was shocked too! Hahaz~ but anyway, glad to earn some extra money! xD
Met Claire after work and we went to have some fruits. Went to find Joyce after that and im so sorry for disturbing u! Hope your boss didnt scold u. Heez~ cos i think we were purely there chatting and we even laughed kind of loudly. =X It's good to see ya! Aww.. i miss all my friends. The four of us must, must be out one day. No choice! Keke~
Oh yar!! Saw Tianfu today with Claire too. So happy. It's been a long time since i last met him. Afterall we were once really good friends. =)
Huilin and I going to look out for jobs in the newspapers tomorrow. Hopefully the both of us will be able to find a job that we like, then we can work together! Wont be so lonely. Heez~ argh... wanqing, be independent please. I.N.D.E.P.E.N.D.E.N.T!
leaving...
-1/11/2005 09:01:00 PM-
` Help out at the Little Wonders `
My childcare centre boss just called me not long ago, asking if i am free to go help out to look after the younger kids later on. x_x I am supposed to meet Claire later on and i guessed i had to push it to later in the evening. Im so sorry! Heez~ but i guess since im kind of free, why not go help out and earn some extra allowances? =P Luckily my mum allowed me to come home later for dinner, or i wont be able to meet Claire. Phew!! It's been a long time since i last met her! =(
The cushion i bought from IKEA is so comfortable!! I cant stop hugging it! Hahaz~ ><;;;
leaving...
-1/11/2005 01:03:00 PM-
` Took over Yinboon's job `
As Yinboon had to take leave today to shop for something and she had to find someone as replacement, i helped her out. I met Sharon and Puihan in the morning and we went to Orchard to get the flyers to be distributed to buildings/flats. We had to walk alot and i guessed we had walked around at least more than 10km. Hahaz~ it was alright just that it was kind of tiring. xD Anyway, the flyers we distributed are about another childcare centre too! ><;;; Keke~
Im so sad that we had to return the Mars comics that we rented. I had not managed to finish reading all yet as i had been really busy these two weeks. -Sulks- Nvm... maybe i'll rent it again. Hahaz~ isnt it going to be a waste of money?! =P
Bleh.. im now so lazy to blog. =X
leaving...
-1/10/2005 11:57:00 PM-
` Last day of work at Little Wonders `
Yeah yeah..... i really love blogger. I had finished typing everything earlier and they just disappeared. ARGHZ!!!!!!
Repeat again. -sianz- Last day of work at the childcare centre. And.. of couse i didnt enjoy much at all. The teacher in charge of the young kids was back from leave and so i didnt get to take care of the younger kids today. Sobx! I couldnt even enjoy my last day! =( Hahaz.. So, i had to take care of the older kids and they nearly drove me mad. I was really furious with all of them. The three brothers kept talking and drawing porn. Where this world coming to? How old are they? The oldest is only a P4 and they started to behave so intolerable. The others jumped around, screamed and treated as though im not there. By the time they listened to me, i was already burning inside. You dunno what's the situation like, it was horrible and terrible. They lost control of themselves, and i lost control of them too. The P1 kids didnt behave like the way they usually behave too. Maybe it is their way of expressing shyness to the new teacher, who was there too, but that is not the correct way!! They are only making things worse for us. Argh.. taking care of them really gives me a serious headache. =S
Anywayz, before i went home, i went to find the young kids in their room. They are sooo adorable!! They are definitely 100% better than the older kids. It's not that im biased, but this is a fact. When i got in, Nicholas was crying as he didnt want to wear his pants. Keke~ so kawaii. Jovan came to hug my leg too and Christopher came running to me and kept smiling. I could raise Jovan up with just my leg! Imagine how tight he hugged. I love his eyes as they are always so big and shiny. After that, Nicholas came sitting on my lap and treated it as a slide. He kept on laughing and saying "bus!". Im going to miss him alot. I simply love him!! I gave them chocolates after that and all of them were so happy. Awwwww.... xD
I carried Nicholas down. He looked so blur on the way down, as though he was day-dreaming. Hahaz~ However, he's back to normal when i put him back on the ground. He ran around and played peek a boo with me in the library corner. As my job of looking after the older kids was done, i stayed for another extra hour playing and taking care of the younger kids. It was definitely much more enjoyable. Soon, everyone went home except a few. So sad.... Nicholas left quite early as he took the school bus home. He's so poor thing.. as in at such a young age, he had to take the school bus home and not having his parents there to fetch him. =(
Haix... im feeling down now. Im not able to carry, hug or play with Nicholas anymore. I am not going to get used to it! I nearly carried him everyday! =( That's the only regret of quitting the job actually. Luckily i took quite a number of videos of him as remembrance. I will never forget him! Hahaz~ Miss Chinwei told me that i can go back to see him.. but is it weird? I dunno.. hahhaz~ but i would definitely love to! =X
This post was much more detailed just now. Im too lazy to type it all over again. Hahaz~ anyway, i can finally lead back the life i had always been leading in the past! I felt as though i am torturing myself these two weeks. I tire myself out and i really needed a rest. OMG.. it's only 2 weeks ya? I need to train up. =P
-rushes to watch Nicholas's videos-
leaving...
-1/07/2005 11:38:00 PM-
` reflections `
Time passed really quickly in the morning when i was looking after the younger kids. It was really an enjoyable moment. It felt good when the kids wanted you carry them or hug them, as you will know that you can give them a sense of security. I felt sad leaving them! Especially baby Nicholas! =( However, my main job is still looking after the older kids, who always give me a big, big headache and unhappiness. So... yeah. If only my main job is to look after the younger kids, then i'll definitely not quit! Heehee~ xD
The girl Karen employed to replace me will be coming tomorrow and i had to guide her. *blink blink* I had never felt that i had done a good job despite that Karen said i did quite well. I have to guide her?! Guess she will be seeing me feeling helpless when the older kids dont listen to me. Keke~
I had not been leading a normal life these two weeks. Waking up early and sleeping late. I cant go out with my friends nor and i can have a good rest. I finally can now! I had sort of losing contact with certain friends and we had not been talking to each other since the school reopened. Somehow, i really wish i had school. It's strange how humans think. When you have school, you are dying to get dismissed and go home to rest. However, when you are really at home and do not have to go school, you will feel like going to school. Afterall, there's so many friends and people to talk to at school. You are seldom alone. So, i should have treasure my secondary school days. I think i didnt in the past. =X
*Yawnz* im so sleepy now...
leaving...
-1/06/2005 11:22:00 PM-
` Final Fantasy X, X-2 `
I had been playing FFX-2 these few days, and the game really touched me. FFX-2 is really kind of same as FFX, which i felt has a really emotional and sad storyline. Certain conversations they had managed to make tears start rolling in my eyes. However, i would prefer FFX though, in compare to FFx-2. The reason for this is that some parts of FFx-2 bored me, and i felt kind of stressed playing the game as i worry so much about the completion percentage. Im already lagged of 3% and the worse thing is, i dont know where this 3% came from. I completed all missions, so i guessed it is from some of the mini-games. Heez~ it's alright if you dont understand. Im kind of near to completing the game, just left the last chapter. Will continue play after Friday, which is my last day of work at the childcare centre!
Yep, i had finally made my decision. Actually, i dont know what happened, but my pay happened to be lower than the other teachers in the childcare centre. Someone told me that it is kind of strange and i think so too. Since i had some problem in handling the older kids and they dont listen to me, and maybe another teacher will be able to guide them better, leaving and to find another job may be a correct decision. =D However, im going to miss Nicholas! He is only 18 months old and he's really a cute cute little boy!! I simply fall in love with him! =X Hahaz~ I had been carrying him around today to the window to see cars, trucks and buses, which is his biggest interest. At such young age, he already knew how to say 'thank you' in chinese and name many different transportation. And, despite that he has some difficulty in eating by himself, he always tried to eat on his own. So cute and nice!! Aww... can i go visit him? Hahaz~ i should try to take some nice photos of him as remembrance, heehee~ xD
Whee~ looking out for jobs now...
leaving...
-1/05/2005 11:50:00 PM-
` Troubled `
Phew! Another work day is finally over. Took care of the Primary 1 kids who were having their first day of school in the afternoon session in the morning, and it was chaotic. Noisy, barbaric and lost control of them. They were just too excited over going to school. O.o Hahaz~ luckily everything was back to control when their mothers came to send them off to school. =D
A girl vomitted and a girl wet her pants, and so unluckily, i had to clean them up. The smell was unbearable and i had to fold up my jeans like hell to prevent it from getting wet. =S However, that was alright actually for at least i had something else to do besides sitting there shouting at kids to keep their volume down repeatedly, and with none of them listened to me. Well, im just not fierce enough to make them scared of me! =(
People around me seemed be asking me to quit my job. This always happened whenever i had decided to continue working at this childcare centre, and make me felt troubled over it again. First was a friend, then was Claire, and now was someone i knew. I was on my way home and a met 'her' and she advised me to find another job that worth more of my time. We talked alot more and i started to wonder if 'God' really dont wanna me to continue working there. Is there such coincidence? Should i listen to their advices? I really dont know. Maybe i should give up the job and give it to Joyce's friend, who is keen in doing the job. Im troubled again... I'll better find another job while im feeling troubled. Argh.. i want school! x.x Hahaz~
leaving...
-1/03/2005 11:27:00 PM-
` Happy new year `
Happy New Year!!
Vivid memories of 2004 within me...
* Chased 5566 -- Autograph sessions, concert, airport
* Never been more hardworking -- O Levels (It's over.. happy or sad?)
* Re-started playing Subeta (successfully)
* Got sick of Neopets
* Started to adore Sylvester Sim
* Got a hp i love
* Went out with JSI
* Stopped watching Wan Yu everyday (Miracle?)
* Started making my very own blog layouts
* Watched VCDs from morning to 'morning' (5.30am)
* Major blackout (fun! =P)
* Tsunami disaster
* Found a job
* Still loves Final Fantasy
* Hated to countdown =O (why countdown when others are rescuing people in other countries?)
Crap~ hahaz~
leaving...
-1/01/2005 01:08:00 AM-
